Who am I?

So, you've stumbled upon my shitstorm huh? Well, welcome one and all. I haven't decided if I want to remain anonymous or not so bare with me while I figure out how much criticism I want to subject myself to.

A little about me- I'm an almost 30 year old neurodivergent cis female (she/her) residing in the Bay Area, California and have been here my whole life. Somehow, I found a great hetero partner in life who has tolerated me for the past eight years and even locked it down when we got married three years ago. We have two fur children (the Sophisticats) together who are the lights of our life. I sometimes have a hard time imagining that I could love something more than we love our cats but I'm sure we are capable of it with our own future beautiful demon spawn.

Throughout my life, I have always felt different from my peers and never felt like I had the same way of thinking and feeling as everyone else. I am fiercely independent and have marched to the beat of my own drum, steadfast through my existence, but also suffer from crippling anxiety, fear of failure, a diagnosis of Bipolar type 2, and what I presume to be undiagnosed Autism (both Autism and Bipolar run in my family.) These challenges have helped shape the person I am today for better and for worse but sometimes I really do wish life was a little easier. It's hard to go through life knowing that the way I respond to trauma and other daily life experiences isn't how others go through it and only had the recent discovery of understanding what health privilege is. This is still a constant battle in my life and will remain so. I do understand that being white, as well as my access to decent health insurance and having a psychiatric team is a privilege so I want to acknowledge that, but my experiences and feelings are still valid.

On numerous occasions, I have attempted to start projects like blogs, businesses, podcasts, and the like due to constant feelings of a loss in sense of direction in life, feelings of financial inadequacy, and lack of emotional outlets, but many times I have problems with the execution and upkeep of said projects due to my disabilities. I've been selectively driven to accomplish different goals (and have accomplished some pretty dope goals,) but I am hoping that creating this blog will provide the outlet I need to help sort my thoughts, decompress and maybe even develop a community of all kinds of humans to share experiences with. I will write about topics of all kinds like mental health, finances, work, education, experiences, trauma, family and who knows what else. Just a giant brain dump of thoughts and sarcasm that hopefully doesn't deter others from wanting to read this.

I think this is enough banter for now and if you have read up to this point, you deserve some mad kudos since this was kind of a lot to start with but that's just how I am. Thank you for listening and I hope those who took the time to read will continue to do so with my future posts.

-A