New year, same old me

Hello everyone, welcome to 2022! 2021 was a shit show, as we all know and felt, and we've been stuck in this perpetual spiral of Covid-19 reeking havoc on our lives for almost 2 years. I, and the rest of the world, is longing for some normalcy again, but who knows when we will get to have that again.

For anyone that is reading, my apologies for my few week absence from writing a new post. I have been feeling relatively uninspired since my last post. My last post was a really exhilarating and liberating experience and I just felt a level of contentment that didn't render any blog post inspiration. Plus my life has been pretty low key lately.

I know I previously made a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish over the past few months, and I will be following up with a new update since we're in a new year, but I've been thinking about it this weekend and I think there are some additional, personal goals I want to embrace this year. These goals don't necessarily have particular due dates or itemized actions to take but I already have some ideas on how I want to accomplish those and in what ways.

For 2022, some new goals I want for myself are as follows:

+become more environmentally sustainable with the products I use/don't use

+work on accepting and honoring my body as it is

+spend more time bra-less (let them titties out, yo!)

+find clothing that embraces the body I have and makes me feel good, regardless of the size

+create new female relationships (potentially romantic)

+continue to track my spending over the year

+spend more time outside

A few of these goals definitely have a centralized theme of basically embracing and accepting my body. I'm a healthy person physically as far as my cholesterol and A1C and other blood work shows, and I'm still an active person playing softball multiple times a week but also still have foods that I like mixed in with foods that are good for me. I currently carry the heaviest body I've ever had, and yet, I'm still able to do a lot of the things I was able to do before. I might be a little slower and my cardiovascular endurance is lacking but that's also from not running (outside of bases in softball) for 2 years. My weight has not stopped me from doing any of the activities I love, I just need a larger-sized wardrobe to fit my body so I can continue to do these activities comfortably. Plus, with my body regulating itself after 2 years on the Depo shot and another year of waiting for my cycle to come back, the symptoms that have returned when I'm ovulating/menstruating, my boobs swell up and I don't wanna wear a bra. Nobody needs that negativity in their lives. It doesn't mean I'm going to run around bra-less out in society but I definitely want to start spending more time at home without a bra. (I know, I'm late to the party as many women I know strip that shit off once they walk in the door, but that's never been my routine.)

Another facet of my 2022 goals is my innate need to want to be more environmentally sustainable in the products that I'm buying or not buying. Sophisti-spouse and I have already discussed that he needs to finish installing the bidet we bought when we moved (we used one at our old place but chose not to bring that one with us,) as well as we're thinking of switching to bamboo toilet paper. I love my thick Charmin TP squares but I know it's not good for the environment or our plumbing. Plus, apparently I'm a dumb dumb and it took until I was 30 years old to understand that you don't flush tampons. I know I can't be alone in not knowing this information but I felt really stupid when the rest of my family and my husband were all like "WTF, you don't do that!" I know better for this next menstrual cycle. I will not flush another tampon for the rest of my life. Besides, I have started researching and I am going to try my first pair of period underwear. Granted, I bought them to help with my stress incontinence during softball, but I also want to try them for my periods. I have also dabbled with the idea of trying a menstrual cup but I'm afraid of not being able to use it properly or making it work for my body. I know it is a better method that's cheaper and less wasteful. I also came across an Instagram ad that was featuring reusable pads. I don't really wear pads anymore but I found that interesting. I imagine it's similar in care to cloth diapers and the period underwear but it's at least another option to be less harmful to the plumbing and the environment.

In addition to doing better for the environment, I want to spend more time out in it. I definitely have been feeling a lack of outside time and I can't really rely on sophsti-spouse to come with me on walks like he said he would. He's bad at keeping some of his promises. Nonetheless, I will make it my mission and personal goal to spend more time outside, whether that's just sitting and basking in the sun or going on walks or whatever that ends up looking like.

I started tracking all of my purchases for the month of December so I can see just how much I've been spending in different categories. I was enlightened but not really surprised by what my transactions looked like and how much of my income they took up. One of my financial goals I mentioned in other posts is to have my credit cards paid off by March 2022. I hope that I can make that happen but that doesn't have a chance unless I really take a look at my spending and see where I can do better. It might actually be unrealistic based on my income to do it in that time frame, especially without working extra jobs to earn the additional funds, but we'll see. I will make sure to be debt free again this year. I hate having it linger over me and I've had enough. I got a little spendy when we moved in August of last year with furnishing our new place and buying my seasonal decor, in conjunction with trying to make myself feel better during one of my major depressive episodes. Thankfully I won't have to really spend that type of money next year on decor since I have accumulated most of my decor staples this year.

Lastly on that list, I think I might want to make a new female friendship, maybe possibly even a relationship. It's something that I have talked to sophisti-spouse before and he doesn't seem to have a problem with it but he also doesn't think I'll actually follow through with trying to obtain a female partner. I'm not sure if I want a full-on girlfriend or just a friend or something more than friends but I would be curious to see. I've never pursued any female relationships before so it's a whole new world for me and I'm intimidated and afraid but also curious to see what my feelings represent as far as female relationships go in my bisexuality.

So these are my resolves for 2022. What are your goals/resolutions for this year? Feel free to tell me in the comments!