Sharing is caring, round 2

Hey friends and foes,

So I know I said I was going to write another post on Friday as my continuation from Thursday but lo and behold, on Friday, this bitch threw out her damn back. Like, holy fuck it really hurt. 5-6 years ago, I ended up with a bulging disc in my lower back from performing squats with improper form. I let it go on for far too long without treatment to where I woke up on my 25th birthday and I literally couldn't walk. It was horrifying, embarrassing, and probably looked pretty comical if it wasn't for the agonizing pain. Well, I learned my lesson the hard way, did physical therapy, yada yada, and eventually I was good. I've been cautious of my lower back ever since. I mention this because during the aforementioned Disneyland road trip this past week, I was playing backseat DJ, and I did an excellent job at that. The downfall of it, however, was that I spent ~10 hours leaning forward to reach sophisti-sister's phone. Bitch needs a longer cord hahaha. Anyway, I believe that was the catalyst for where I ended up this weekend.

Sophisti-spouse graced me with a coupon for a free car wash and I'm like, "dope! My car can stop looking like a dumpster and be semi-presentable for once." So I made my way through the car wash and if you got a car wash, they have stalls you can drive in to to use vacuums for free. I pulled in to one of the stalls and started on cleaning my floors and seats. Well, I leaned into my back seat with the vacuum and it hit me like a ton of bricks to my lower back. It was painful, forceful, and stopped me dead in my tracks. I knew immediately that I had done myself wrong. It hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, and I started to panic. I didn't know if I was going to be able to drive myself home or not. Thankfully as I lowered myself into my car, the main was manageable and I was able to drive myself the two miles home. I pulled into my parking spot and proceeded to slowly inch and waddle the 10 yards it is to my front door over the duration of an agonizing two minutes. I put myself on the floor and called Kaiser. They basically just prescribed me higher strength ibuprofen over the phone and sent me an article of stretches I can do for my back.

Through the weekend, between ibuprofen, ice, stretching, and maintaining a horizontal position on the couch, I was able to at least make my way to work today and have been able to walk around with minor pain/more so irritation. Any way, that's my story and I'm sticking to it and that's why I wasn't able to do my follow up post until now.

I know all three of you guys are itching to know how the conversation went with sophisti-spouse went yesterday. Well, first off, I had a bit of anxiety about this and I didn't have high hopes for this conversation. After having to delay the start time of the conversation since we didn't know it would fall on the day and smack dab in the middle of the NFC Championship game where both of our favorite teams were playing each other. #ramshouse Once the game was over, husband needed a minute to mourn over the loss of his beloved 49ers and the revel in dumbest last movement Jimmy G had to offer to completely ruin the game for them. [ #bangbangninergang <--- I just love the song E-40 does lol ]

ANYWAYYYYYYYY, so once we were able to get settled and focused on the conversation, it actually went much better than expected and I was very wrong in my assumptions. I have no qualms about admitting when I'm wrong and I definitely spoke too soon and didn't have faith in sophisti-spouse. We discussed what his focuses were during the past three months. He got conversations going with his boss about getting a raise and find ways for him to work on getting certifications at work. He didn't make an appointment for a physical or psychiatric evaluation prior in the given time frame but I asked if he would be willing to make an appointment for a physical right then and there, and he complied with no hesitation. I hope he follows through with everything he wants to get checked out and asks for a referral to work on his anxiety but for now, I am proud of how he handled my request and his willingness to do so in the moment.

We then moved on to talk about what my goals were for the three month time period and I reached just about all of the goals we set forth for me to do. The only thing I didn't do was go back to work for five full days, but I do at least work 4.5 days and it averages out to 37-40hrs a week, so essentially back to my full time hours. He was happy that I've been regularly back at work and that I was able to speak to the maternal/fetal specialist about my medication and family planning. During this time, he also had an appointment with his eye surgeon and he got more reassuring news from that appointment too. (again, a story for another day.) I did mention to him that I might be open to looking for a new job in the future but it would depend on if we started trying for a baby and the fact that I'm not in a rush to do it. I would need to make sure it met all/most of my criteria like being able to keep Kaiser health insurance and be able to pay me similar to what I'm getting paid now, etc. But I have started working on my resume to update and clean it up in the event that I come across a good opportunity. Sophisti-spouse even said that I should look into professional certificates since I don't really have the energy or means to go back to school full-time to finish my bachelors. It definitely gave me something to think about and how I could utilize those for a future career move. I just made sure to let him know that he doesn't need to worry and I won't do anything rash and he wasn't concerned, which made me feel good.

So I asked him the big question, how does he feel about starting a family? He said his confidence with us and our situation and everything raised his willingness from 50/50 to 70ish/30, which I definitely see as a win. He actually a bit better about me, my health, my work, his eye health, and his work so it's greatly heading in the right direction. I proceeded to ask him when he thinks we could start, and he suggested that I give it another month at work to see how I feel (another post about that later,) and we have another meeting scheduled on March 5th to discuss it again. Depending on how that goes, it means we could be starting to try for a baby in the next couple months!!!! What would I call them? Sophisti-kid? I think that's what I have said before but I don't remember. As a joke, he did say it would require me to put out more, and I said I knew that and not to worry lol. So after all the agonizing and worrying and anxiety, homie finally came through. I thanked him for his participation in our conversation and that it makes me happy that he seems to share the same sentiments about growing our family together. We may not know where we want to live and buy a house in the near future, but that's another plan for another day and we'll continue to keep saving until we get a better idea about our family and our careers. Honestly, it couldn't have been a better outcome. I'm also working on temperature tracking to track my fertility and I think the information is finally starting to come together.

I am incredibly thankful that this situation has had a positive trend and I hope it continues and we could have a sophsiti-kid in the near future. Even it it means I'm pregnant when heading to #whenwewereyoungfest in October. #emokidforlife

Thanks all I have for now but I have some ideas for upcoming posts here soon, so stay tuned!

xoxo,

A