The work saga continues

Hello friends and foes, welcome back to another episode of what the fuck is going on in my brain. :) I've had thoughts and things floating around in my brain over the past few days and I've had a hard time putting them into words. For this post, I'll say that work has been an interesting experience lately. I've been continuing to work half days due to my mental health group therapy and bipolar skills group in the afternoons, but it wasn't until yesterday that I actually had anything productive to do during my time at work. I was assigned a project that kept me busy for the better part of the day but at the end of my day to be told that the project I was assigned was partially obsolete. I don't really have any problem with that since it at least gave me something productive to do for the day and it has been the only semi-constructive thing I've done in the past three weeks- not for lack of trying but my new job title and the tasks I will be assigned rely heavily with my boss giving me direct instruction on projects to complete and he hasn't had that much time to assign something for me to do. I've mostly been left to my own devices to burn time, which as I've mentioned before, has allowed me to spend time on this blog. He has mentioned different types of projects he wants me to work on and there in one in particular that I think will be something that I could succeed at and would give me days worth of work but he has said he needs to reorient himself in the process so then he would be able to explain it to me. It's one of the projects I actually feel semi-confident in doing and it is mostly just data collection of different documents to file for duty drawbacks. I know it would be a task that actually has a real impact on our work place and it would give me some direction and sense of purpose for the duration of the project. We would eventually get to a point where we would get caught up to the present day and filing these duty drawbacks would be part of our daily processes, but there would be almost two years worth of data to collect in the meantime and I'm literally drooling at the opportunity to do it.

Also side note- does anyone else sometimes feel completely stupid when they hear their bosses talk about other work things with other people? My boss spends a lot of time speaking to our VP of sales and development and some times the things I hear them talk about, I'm just like what the fuck does any of that mean? Maybe it's just my inexperience in knowing how a company runs and how it expands, the fact that those types of conversations are not my forte or in my wheel house, or that all of my knowledge of how businesses run comes from watching Shark Tank, but I sometimes feel like it's an adult trying to teach a kindergartener how to do taxes. It goes completely over my head. Some of it might just be my anxiety fogging up my brain of understanding, but wheewwwwwww lordy I do not get it. I physically start to lose focus when he tries to explain things to me for too long. I have a hard time with only auditory processing and eventually his words just feel like he's speaking a foreign language, my eyes start to glaze over, a fog starts to intrude on my brain and then I get worried that I'm not going to remember anything he has told me.

Sorry for the rant but when you're stuck with nothing to do, being left to my own devices keeps me stuck in my head and nothing coherent comes from it.

On that note, until next time, peace out.

-A